Curly girl, Curly Mom

“Please come with your hair all down…”

It started out as an innocent invitation to yet another five year old class birthday party. By now, we had the hang of these kiddo parties. Everything from creating homemade birthday cards (save $$ and great practice for PreK writing!) to asking if siblings are allowed.

The cool thing about this particular invite was it was mailed, like with a stamp in the mailbox. I had to reset my dreams years ago of personal mailed invites after discovering the power of e-invitations that shows you who has opened it and not replied! Anyway, her two PreK BFFs since age one were having a joint party at the girliest place in town. A mommy’s dream day for her little girl to be pampered. Then I read it…towards the end…”Please come with your hair down and your nails unpolished.” Cue the deep breath, side eye.

My beautiful, smart five year old has the most AMAZING curls. They are perfection. They are heathy. They are full.   One thing they are not is typically all “down”. I believe in the power of braiding for protection and mommy’s morning sanity.

Thus starts the unique prep and stragety for this princess birthday party. When I called the party place to RSVP I asked about this hair down business.  “Oh so what do you do to the girls’ hair?” I said as casually as possible. “We do a cute glitter twist updo” the employee responded. Cue the deep breath, side eye. I ALMOST went into more questions and an explanation that my daughter’s hair was usually in braids and can you work with it like that but I just said okay great and hung up.

I looked at the calendar. We had four weeks until this shindig and needed to figure out where her closest wash day to the party would fall. I really wanted her to have the same experience as the other girls so I decided I’d detangle the evening before and wash the morning of the party. Again I’m an amateur when it comes to letting her wear it all down.

Fast forward to the morning of the party. We washed, prepped and trimmed. I got it as detangled as I could knowing foreign hands would be touching it. The end result was a super, sweet look and I caught a glimpse of what she would look like as a preteen…not ready for that yet. To top off her do, we placed a pink poofed headband to match her pink sequined and tulle dress. I said “My Baaabbbyyy” in my best Claire Huxtable voice.


When it came time for the hair styling at the party, I tried to play it cool and hide my anguish from the other moms and pulled a hostess to the side and said “Please don’t add the glitter to my daughter’s hair”. By the time she sat in the chair, her hair was drier than I wanted it to be after adding maybe too much product or the wrong brand for her curl type (future blog post). I knew what this lady was up against, assuming she had little or no experience with her type of curls. Also, my daughter screams when it comes to parting, combing out tangles, everything . So in a panic (but cool) I told the stylist “oh you can just pull it all up in a ponytail, don’t worry about the (six) twists”.  She said with a smile “I think I can do it”. Cue the deep breath, side eye (without letting the moms watching notice). Surprisingly, my baby girl was a soldier and didn’t make a PEEP. Truly Unheard of! But I could tell it hurt by her facial expressions so I told the stylist “it helps if you put some water on her ends”. Why didn’t I bring a water spray bottle and detangler?! Major curl mom fail. We got through it. The final product looked just ok, but the important thing was my baby didn’t feel excluded and had no idea of what mommy was thinking and worrying about this whole time. She happily walked away from the salon chair  joining her friends for tea, pizza, a dance party and of course, princess trivia.

So continues our adventures of curly courtship! ❤️

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